Kerry Needs: Manage your mindset

Letting others 'push your buttons'

2012-02-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

You know how people say 'they really pushed my buttons'?

Or

'They hit a raw nerve'
'They wound me up'
'They got under my skin'

Usually, the emotion of anger is involved. We're angry primarily because we've let what another person said or did affect how we're feeling, it's thrown us off balance.

'Button pushing' is a sign of insecurity and the perpetrator often does it to subconsciously cause a lack of power in the individual, to rattle them in some way.

Sometimes, our colleagues, or our partners, or even our friends say things that instantly make us feel some kind of sharp emotion.

It could be felt in the gut, as an instinctual reaction to whatever that person has just done.

Habitually, we're used to just reacting, 'How dare you say that to me!' or some other defensive mechanism, either berating the other person or saying something that will elevate ourselves to a seemingly more superior position. It's a game for power, but there's a way you can always win.

The next time someone says something that 'pushes your buttons', instead of instantly reacting when you feel that emotion (and we are human, we are bound to feel hurt/anger), instead, take a deep breath and calmly choose to respond in the complete opposite way that the other person is expecting.

The other person's shocked! They don't expect you to take their insult/remark/comment without some kind of emotional reaction. In fact, they want a reaction, not a controlled response.

By changing your responses to these kind of people they will soon realise that they cannot have any power over you. Their words or actions may hurt you, but you choose to rise above it, even perhaps be nice to them, for they shouldn't really be trying to make you feel bad if they are a decent human being.

By showing love, peace and even kindness to those that hurt you, you're even showing them that there's another way. You're showing them your inner strength, and you're realising that the only person who can really push any buttons, is you.

Why I put myself 'out there'

2012-02-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

Whenever I press 'share' on a link to something I've done, a video, a blog, an article, there's an anxiety within me.

I think of all the 'who does she think she is''s running through peoples minds.

Why then, if I worry about what people think of me, do I post it regardless?

Because I believe what I'm saying is important. It's not about me. It's about my message, the fact that I want to help as many people as I can to be in control of their lives, to be happier.

I put myself out there despite my fear because ultimately I want to live a life with no regrets.

I am fully aware of my shortcomings and strengths, and I understand that people will pick up on them with equal measure, but I carry on regardless in the hope that I help at least a few people with what I'm saying.

I hope I can be an inspiration to people to change aspects of their life they're not happy with. When you're inspired, you're compelled to act beyond fear. And that is my wish for everyone.

“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” - John Jakes

Think big, start small

2012-01-18T06:36:00.000-08:00

I recently purchased several books from Amazon as part of my new ‘getting back into reading’ for 2012. Among them was a book entitled ‘Screw Work, Lets Play’ which is all about finding the work you’d love to do – your ‘play’ and how to turn that into a source of income.

Work is one of the biggest factors of our lives because we spend most of our lives working. In fact, I looked it up, and we spend:

97,464 hours working from 18-65
(an average 8 hour day 5 days a week)

97 THOUSAND hours. Thats a lot of hours. Just imagine if all those hours, all of your life, your precious life, was spent playing instead of working- doing something you love and getting paid for it.

Those people whose work life we admire, those who have the freedom, and the money, first decided they were worth it. They decided that they were going to go for it, no matter how long it took, they kept chipping away, working towards the life of their dreams.

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."~ Steve Jobs

How do you know what you love to do? Simple, think of those times when time slipped away- when you were enjoying yourself so much that you didn’t notice how long it had been since you began. You’ll notice its part of what you’re naturally gifted at- it could be music, art, speaking, writing, or history, or more left brained subjects like finance, technology, engineering or physics.

We all long to make a positive difference- and we all long to grow. Humans by nature are constantly changing, evolving, and growing- just like plants.

Why do most of us not go for it? Lack of confidence. That is the number one reason. With the internet, it is extremely easy, in fact easier than ever before, to put your name out there- to build up an online presence in your chosen path- to display your talents and passions to the world.

What about lack of money?

You can set up free websites with little or no technical know how, you can get on your local community radio station for free, you can record a video with your phone and post to youtube for free, you can host your own tv channel via Ustream for free, you can record your own radio station via BlogTalk radio for free, you can tweet and post on facebook and have your own blog for free, you can use your phone’s recorder and make your own podcasts for iTunes for free, you can write your own ebook via Smashwords for free...the list goes on...

So, with confidence, and determination, and persistence- you can get there. Write an ebook on managing your finances. Get your music uploaded to Youtube. Set up a website on gardening.

As Steve Jobs said- don’t settle. Many of us ‘settle’ for second best, but why should we? We only have one life, shouldn’t we make ourselves happy?

And the happier we are, the more we can spread that happiness to others.

Make every day a resolution day

2012-01-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

So, it's that time again. New Year, when we promise ourselves so much but so many of us fail to deliver on the goals we set ourselves.

Christmas and New Year for most is the only time of year where we get to relax, put our feet up, and reflect on the year that has passed and the year to come. That doesn't really happen any other time of year. This time is important because we look at our lives and decide which bits aren't working and where we need to move forward in areas of our lives.

So we make the 'New Years Resolution'- we make a decision. We vow to lose more weight, to get a new job, to make more friends, to move house, to go travelling- but sometimes we never see through that which we have promised ourselves.

Why not?

Because we get caught up in the daily grind of life, time slips away from us and we are always doing other things or something 'just gets in the way.'

The reason for this I believe is because we don't 'check in' with ourselves- we forget to have this reflective time throughout the year, we forget to make time for ourselves and check if we are moving in the direction we intended.

So how do we keep motivated? How do we make those choices every day and keep our resolve?

Well, we can recognise that every day we can take time to measure our progress. Like a captain of a ship, we can take a quick look to see if we are steering our thoughts and actions in the right direction or if we're going totally off course.

You could take time at the end of the day to reflect on your choices, or meet up with a friend every month to keep you on track, or chart your progress every week on a wall chart.

All in all it depends on how important your resolution is for you. Is your decision something that you feel you should do, or something that you want to do?

Remember how important it is that you stick to it and how great you'll feel once you've achieved your goal.

Back yourself to win

2011-12-08T06:44:00.000-08:00

Q: What is the main thing that stops us from going for our dreams, from striding out from the crowd?

A: Our mindset, our perceptions about ourselves and our belief as to whether it could be possible.

I recently read a very interesting perspective from Timothy Ferris's book, 'The 4 hour work week' that states 'It is more difficult to go for the mediocre goals and the 'average' salary than it is to shoot for the top. It's less crowded there- most people are too insecure to go for the big guns'.

As children, we are not insecure. We dream boldly and greatly. We never think that we cannot be the things we want to be, never think that our dreams are 'too big' or that we're not good enough to achieve them.

Slowly, most of us settle for a 'realistic' standard of living, a 'normal' job and a 'steady' income.

But what defines 'normal' and 'realistic'- is it that everyone else is doing it?

If the average salary were £100,000, you can bet that most of us would be aiming for that.

So what of those other people? Those who clung on to their childhood dreams and dared to make them a reality?

Well, their mindset, more often than not, has been to believe in the possibility that they can have what they want.

I've quoted this before, but the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow said to his students- 'which one of you is to be the next Abraham Lincoln?'
They all laughed, and squirmed uncomfortably in their chairs.
He then said 'Well then if not you, then who else?'

Most of us see those 'winners' in life (those who are completely fulfilled on a material and spiritual level) as having some kind of predetermined advantage-

'They knew the right people'
'They were from a rich background'
'They started young'
'They got the qualifications'

or quite simply, 'They got lucky'.

But in truth, neither of the above applies. Read stories of successful people and you'll find many of them were not equipped with everything they needed- in fact, many of them 'failed' several times.

What spurred them on? The fact that they mentally backed themselves to win, they held a firm belief that their dreams were possible, that it could happen, and they'd continue to persist until it did.

It's simple: you are in control by Kerry Needs

2011-11-12T14:10:00.001-08:00

Just a quick post to let you know my book, which is a collection of these blogs (plus more!) is out now: It's simple:you are in control

Here's part of a speech I did talking about the themes of the book:

Be great to know what you think of the book! email me kerry@wholescience.net

Move towards joy

2011-08-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

In the short time I have lived on this earth (27 years), I am becoming evermore convinced that joy is the purpose of our lives. If we start with joy, then we can have everything we want.

Don't believe me? Well, I'm a pragmatist, so I always like to see how this works in practice- in our day to day lives.

Whenever you have a problem, think about what would bring you the most amount of joy. In your career, what is it that makes you feel happy and joyful? What do you get excited or buzzing about?

In your relationships, are your relationships light and joyful? Do you feel excited before you see that person? That is a key indicator as to whether the relationship is a good one. Or do you feel indifferent, despondent, or unenthusiastic about spending time with them?

If you dread seeing someone, why are you spending your time with them? Why are you letting them bring you down, and in turn, lower your mood?

I am here to say that I think you should make joy your number 1 priority.

And rather than it being self-centred, it is the absolute best thing you can do. So if you're quite an altruistic person, you want to help others, you want to make things better and change things, let me say- you can do so much more for others when you are joyful.

When you are joyful, you are like an overflowing river- you have so much happiness that it affects those around you. You are bubbly, bright, happy, smiley, and positive. People love to be around you. You have more energy to give to others, because you look after yourself.

When you are joyful, you do your best work.

What makes you tick? What are the conditions that you feel joyful in? Maybe you go to a kickboxing class and think 'I love this, I feel so good!' - do more of that. Maybe you feel great in a particular outfit or like a particular colour- wear more of that.

What makes you happy? For me, I've found out a lot about myself over the last year. I know I love a certain type of music, that I love bright colours, that I love beautiful jewellery, that I love sitting outside in the sun- there's a multitude of things that make me thrive- that make me happy.

You are effectively then allowing yourself the best perfect conditions in which to be joyful- in which to succeed. I now experience joy on a daily basis, because I surround myself with things, people and conditions I love, in order for me to be myself and give back to others being the happiest I can be.

"Joy is our goal, our destiny. We cannot know who we are except in Joy. Not knowing Joy, we do not know ourselves."

~Marianne Williamson

Let yourself move towards those things that make you smile :)

Be choosy

2011-07-12T01:06:00.000-07:00

Choose your responses- be choosy.

Most of us forget that we have choice in life. Yes, you are in the job you are in, the house you are in, the partner you are with, through choice.

You have a choice in each and every moment as to how to react to your circumstances. You can choose to dump the partner, look for a new job or move house.

Most of us though, put obstacles in the way. We pretend we don't have a choice. We pretend we are limited creatures. But in truth, that is never so.

We could say 'oh but I havent got the money to move'- but you have a choice where you make your money, and if you are determined enough you will move.

What if you get a run of bad luck? Would you be miserable? You could be, or you could choose not to be.

Why not see opportunity in difficulty, positive in misfortune? It's not really that difficult, it just takes a bit of concerted, rational thinking on your part.

Next time something happens to you- your boss shouts at you, your partner falls out with you, think: is being angry/sad/miserable the best way for me to deal with this situation?

How can I choose to turn this situation into a positive?
Maybe, you can see your boss as a teacher who is helping you to deal with difficult people, or see your fallout with your partner as a way to spend time pampering yourself or making new friends.

Maybe, it's not all bad. Maybe, reacting in a negative way is just how you've been conditioned to respond.

Imagine if we chose to respond more positively, even in a supposedly negative situation?

Imagine if someone says something to you which offends you.
Do you a) respond negatively, be annoyed and say something back?
or b) decide to not let that person affect your strong sense of self and smile sweetly back at them?

I can guess that b) is not something you're familiar with, but try it- be choosy!

Choose your responses carefully, and remember, you're the master here, you're in control of how you feel.

Love you, and you can't go far wrong

2011-06-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

What stops most of us from getting the things we want? Living the life we want, feeling good about ourselves and the world around us?

Well, believe it or not, a large part of feeling good is recognising your unique talents and qualities, the things that make you you, the individual identity you bring to the world.

Just remember, there is no one else like you. You are like a snowflake, individually crafted by your circumstances. You are one of a kind, and there will be no one else like you.

Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? And I don't mean your looks, I mean the totality of you, the whole of you, your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your personality.

And when you think about yourself in your mind, how do you feel?

I'll tell you about my own experience. When I used to think about 'Kerry Needs', I had a particular image in my mind. I was strong, powerful, successful- a wealthy businesswoman. In actual fact, I was not really earning much money and didn't have my own team around me.

But because I thought that way, I acted that way. I acted as if Whole Science was incredibly successful, and I was the CEO of this large, growing company. I valued and respected myself- I walked into a room with my head held high. In reality, I was only on the first step of the ladder- scraping money together, going to networking events, working part time to fund my passion.

Then the inevitable happened. I ran out of money. The 'business' was not a 'business' at all, it was a passion I had not yet commercialised.
I was drained, despondent and broke.
My self esteem plummeted- was I actually living in a dreamworld? Did I have what it takes to be successful? Could Kerry Needs really make it as a businesswoman after all?
For the first time, I questioned myself.

I lost my confidence in myself- I beat myself up, thinking that maybe I couldn't make it after all. I didn't know where to go next or what to do- I still had this burning passion to make a difference in the world, but I was tired, exhausted and felt down.

I decided to press pause on that vision and regain my energy- financially, mentally and spiritually. I decided to invest in me for the first time in my life.

I decided to go out and live life- have fun, make friends, travel, experience the delights of life, just being myself.

I let Whole Science go on the backburner until I was able to invest energy into it again- to really go for it. At the moment, that's where it still is.

And I can feel that old sense of self returning- I can begin to see in my mind's eye that one so called 'failure' does not mean I will not get there. The past does not equal the future.

The lesson I have learnt is that you need to love yourself no matter what- forgive yourself for your mistakes, don't beat yourself up. If you got with someone who treated you badly, if you made a bad business decision, if you went down the 'wrong' path in hindsight, don't worry, it's all part of the journey.

Remember: you can always bounce back if at your core you hold love for yourself.

Why the only person that matters is you

2011-06-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Now, I don't want you to look at this title and think 'Kerry! Are you advocating some kind of self centered, narsisstic preoccupation with myself?' No, that's not true.

I write and speak about the mind, and mastering the mind, and when it comes to your opinion of yourself, your own self esteem and self worth- it should all be about you.

Your thoughts, your perceptions, your beliefs about yourself should be more important than those of others. You should guide yourself instead of being guided by others.

It's not always an easy thing to do. We grow up with other people's mindsets a lot- you might even hear your parents words in your mind when you are thinking about a decision.

But ultimately, what I am really getting at is when it comes to the way you think about yourself, you should only take yourself into account. You are the only one that counts.

Many people will have an opinion on what you do. The clothes you wear, how you conduct yourself, the actions and decisions you take. People may praise you and criticise you in equal measure.

It's a sad fact we live in a judgemental world. So many people mold and shape themselves into how they believe others want them to be, instead of just being themselves.

When mastering your mind, remember that those who criticise are your greatest teachers. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, taking on their opinions is a choice.

After all- it is just that- their opinions. What separates those who really go for things in life compared to the people who don't is their ability to filter out the opinions that don't serve them, the ability to listen to their inner voice and their own opinions and build on them, making them stronger and stronger each day.

I liken it to being like a strong oak tree- grounded and rooted, unaffected by circumstances (opinions) around them. The opposite of that of course, is someone who completely listens to others and ignores the fact that they have mental autonomy- they are like a thin tree- liable to bend this way or that according to who they listen to.

Remember- you do have mental autonomy. When it comes to your self esteem, your opinion of yourself, yours is the only one that counts. Be determined to love yourself!

Rise above the fear

2011-03-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

I've been doing toastmasters for quite a few months now, and am slowly developing my speaking skills. One thing that has crippled me for several years now is my lack of confidence in public speaking.

It was the one thing that I knew if I can get over, it will help me accelerate Whole Science because I wouldn't be scared of talking to people in large groups or explaining things. To really achieve my dreams of getting the message to people that your mind is a powerful tool, I need to be a good communicator.

And at the moment, I feel like I'm overcoming several hurdles towards that goal. Each one is higher than the next, pushing my boundaries, expanding my comfort zones, stretching what I thought I was capable of.

And before every speech, have I been scared? Yes. Have I worried what people will think of me and the topic I'm talking about? Yes. Have I been scared that I'll mess up, forget my words, and look an idiot in front of everyone? Absolutely.

But my immense desire to fulfil what I am passionate about, and to communicate information that I genuinely believe will make the world a better place, is the fuel that spurs me on. I feel like I can't let my silly, insignificant insecurities get in the way of hopefully helping humanity on a grand scale.

So, yes, we all feel fear, but its what we do with it that counts. We can actually harness it, you know. Every time you think 'oh I can't do that, so and so may think this of me', or 'I would feel really stupid if I did x'- don't let those thoughts be a barrier from doing it.

And you may stumble on some occasions. You may falter, you may mess up at times, some people may not like what you're doing or they may attack you, but by that time you will so enjoy the feeling of growing and stretching yourself that others attempts to hold you back won't work. You'll continue pushing through your fears and rising above your insecurities- and you'll probably inspire others to do the same.

So, if you feel fear about something right now- imagine you're at the edge of a pool. You can stay there, frozen, turn around and walk away, or, you can take a deep breath.... and dive in!

Know thyself

2011-03-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

Socrates said 'Know thyself'.

What did he mean? And why is it important?

I write this blog having become newly single, which I haven't been for several years, and I am acutely aware that over these years, I have evolved into quite a different person than from when I was last single.

I believe that knowing yourself, or the art of introspection, or self knowledge, is quite possibly one of the most important things you can do in your whole life.

Our mind, or our consciousness, is one of the most powerful things we possess, yet many of us don't know how it works. We haven't become acquainted with it, we haven't become familiar with our own selves- who we are, what we want out of life, and what really matters to us.

Once we recognise that life is a process of conscious creation, that we can consciously choose and direct our lives in the way that we want to, then self-knowledge or self awareness becomes increasingly important.

Those big life decisions- what you do for a living, who you choose for your partner, where you choose to live... are made easier if you know yourself fully.

What's important to you? How do you want to spend your time? What do you really value in life?

Once you thoroughly understand yourself inside out, you will be better placed to really focus your thoughts in the direction you want to head.

Look into the mirror. Really look, deep into your eyes. Recognise that you are a conscious, living, breathing being. Recognise where you are, at this moment in your life, at this date and at this time of your life which you will never have again.

Look, and recognise all the unfulfilled dreams, desires, and new experiences that you'd wish to have. What would you like to experience that you haven't experienced yet?

You are the sculptor, and your mind is the clay- you can sculpt or create whatever you choose. Look at this creator in the mirror.

Who are you, and who are you going to be?

Reach for a better-feeling thought

2011-02-23T03:41:00.001-08:00

Can you control circumstances?

No.

Can you control the person you wish to be in relation to circumstances?

Absolutely.

Most of us forget this crucial point, and we allow ourselves to be completely passive- letting life mold us into a certain way depending on what outside circumstances are going on at the moment.

Sometimes, all that is needed is us to reach for a better-feeling thought.

Our actions and reactions to life are not determined by anyone else but ourselves.

And when a situation arises that is not how you would like it to be, most of us react badly. We push against it, act negatively- moan and complain.

'Its not how I want it!' we say inside.

We focus on all the things that are wrong instead of all the things that are right.

You can start to feel better just by reaching for a better feeling thought.

Think of one thing, just one tiny thing, that is positive about the situation.

Maybe you learned something. Maybe it taught you how not to act. Maybe it made way for something else to happen.

However small that positive thought, begin to focus on it, and you'll find it expands.

Maybe make a list of a few things you appreciate about that situation.

Remember- changing your focus in this way does not mean you accept this situation in a permanent state, nor that it is 'right' or 'just' or 'fair'. All it is doing is allowing yourself to not be so negatively affected by that experience.

How brilliant would it be to stay smiling while you sail through storms?

Practise makes perfect, so for now, just do what you can to make you feel better, for you. Put a better feeling thought in your mind.

Be the change

2011-02-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

One of my most favourite quotes, ever, is by Gandhi:

'Be the change you wish to see in the world'.

But what does that mean?

I started to think a bit more about this quote and realised, its not just about a matter of action.

So for example, say you wanted to see less deforestation. You could go and work for a conservation charity. That would be the action.

But what is the corresponding thought, belief or emotion that goes with that?

Well, it would be care.

You'd want people to take care of the planet, that is your ultimate inspiration or motivation behind that outcome.

What I have realised, recently, is that when Gandhi said 'be the change' he did not just mean going and doing the necessary action that you want to see changed, whether its working for womens rights, or saving the worlds economy.

He meant that we ourselves should become a manifestation of the outcome that we desire.

We can't want a caring world if we are not caring ourselves.

So if we think about the changes we'd like to see in the world, and think about what consciousness or mindset we would need to have in order for those things to happen, that's what we need to become.

Still don't get me?

To see changes in the way we care for our planet, we must be a caring person.
To empower people, you need to be empowering yourself.
To see inspiration in the world, you need to be inspirational and inspire others.
If you want to see a more peaceful world, become a peaceful person.

They say change begins at home.

And nonetheless is this more true than becoming the changes you wish to see.

Start caring for yourself and others around you, start empowering yourself and others around you, start motivating and inspiring those around you.

Becoming a living example of the changes you want to see in the world- it all starts within you.

Set your mental sail in the right direction

2011-02-04T01:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life we meet certain people that are commonly known as 'drifters'. They drift through life, never really knowing where they are going, who they are, or what they want to achieve.

Life just 'happens' to them and they are completely influenced by their circumstances, never really stopping to look inside themselves and think about what it is they really want.

And to some extent, we all have that aspect inside of us. And for the most part, this is a great thing- allowing ourselves to go with the flow of life.

But if we don't know in which direction we want to head, then inevitably we may 'drift' into a place we don't want to go. We may crash into the rocks, we may drift back and forth, not really making any progress on anything.

I like metaphors (you've probably guessed that by now) and although it really does sound cheesy, you are the captain of your ship.

You set your mental sails. Of course, the winds of life blow us and carry us in a certain direction, maybe even off course sometimes, but it is up to us to adjust the sails.

The happiest people in life are those who know where they want to go, and keep their mind focused on it, whilst being relaxed about how and when they get there. They're akin to a relaxed captain, just adjusting his sails now and then so he's never far off course, and gets there in the end.

So, think about it.

What do you want to do in your life? Who do you want to be? What do you want to have? Make a list, and put it up where you can see it. This is your 'destination'. And focus on one thing at a time- mini milestones in your journey.

By keeping these in mind, whenever you feel down, 'off course', 'off track', all you need to remember is: adjust your sails.

Change your perception to change your behaviour

2010-11-15T07:12:00.000-08:00

If you have something that you would like to change in life, but for some reason the changes you want to make just aren't happening, look at the way you perceive that particular situation.

So, for example, if you would like to save money, lose weight, or sort out your messy filing system, think about how you perceive making those changes.

Are you thinking about the effort it will take to make those changes or are you focusing on the end result?

The reason why many of us fail to make the changes we want is because we are perceiving the change as something that is difficult.

Moreover, we continue to think in the same ways that is keeping us where we are now- thus never moving forward.

What mindset is stopping you from making those changes, now?

Is it because you feel it is too difficult/too much effort/too much time/too much sacrifice?

Usually, its all of the above. Even though you know you'll feel amazing once those changes have been implemented and you can see the results, the reluctance to change is usually because your perception towards those changes is ultimately negative.

So, rather than seeing the gym being too boring/too expensive/too far away/too lonely, and seeing saving money as too restrictive/too much effort/too much sacrifice, think instead of the rewards you will reap having made those changes.

The New Year is fast approaching and its a perfect time to changing our perceptions for the better- to help ourselves in the long run.

If it helps, make a list of how NOT making these changes will ultimately keep you stuck where you are, and think of all the problems it is causing you as a result of not making those changes. Then, list all of the benefits making these changes will give you, whether physical and emotional.

See yourself 12 months from now, having implemented those changes, and notice a happier, more contented you.

Use that image to motivate yourself and begin to enjoy making that change in perception as you realise that you're changing for the better!

Focus on others to help yourself

2010-10-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

If you're like me and read a lot of personal development books, the focus is usually on the individual, and you focus on your beliefs, your attention is on yourself and your own growth.

But studies have found that actually, doing something for others may benefit you even more- both mentally and physically.

In his latest book Why Kindness Is Good For You, Dr David Hamilton collects a wealth of interesting evidence that shows how kindess greatly impacts the mind and body.

Giving a hug, for example, releases oxytocin flows though our blood vessels. .And oxytocin is cardioprotective. It reduces blood pressure by stimulating the release of nitric oxide. It also serves as an antidote to free radicals and inflammation, which cause diseases of the heart and cardiovascular system.

Not only that, being kind improves our mood. A study at the University of Texas found that volunteering eases depression.

Why does helping others give us such valuable benefits? The answer is as yet unanswered, yet we are starting to find out just how much of an impact the giving of yourself can have on your well being.

If you feel like you need a psychological or physical boost, do something nice for others. Buy them flowers. Give someone a hug. Help someone cross the road. Let someone out in front of you in the car.

Focus on loving and giving, and you will see a dramatic improvement in not only your mood, but in your health.

Can you do it?

2010-09-17T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, can you?

When thinking about a challenge or an obstacle, or even a goal you have set yourself, ask yourself the question 'can I do it'?

Why?

The reason being is because it will determine your success.

If you are faced with what appears to be an insurmountable challenge, an uphill battle,or an ardous or difficult task, what stands in your way is your disbelief in your own capability.

Have you ever put your mind to something, told yourself that you can and will do it, and ultimately achieved it?

Your attitude got you through it, your mindset helped you achieve it.

So whether its running those last few miles of a marathon, getting to that deadline by Monday, or doing that task you've been putting off for ages, just

stop-

and tell yourself 'I can do it'.

In fact, begin to tell yourself 'I can' more and more every day.

The phrase 'I can' is one of the most empowering things you can tell yourself.

What you're actually doing is programming your subconscious mind for success, reinforcing that inner child within you, that person who knows their own potential, just needs a bit of encouragement.

So call that girl. Try that new dish. Make those new friends. Speak out at your meeting. Complete that spreadsheet.

Tell yourself 'I can', over and over and over again.

So many of us are horrible to our inner selves, we all too easily listen to the voice that says 'give up' or 'its too hard' or 'you can't do it'.

Be kind to yourself. Encourage yourself, motivate yourself with loving words such as 'I can'.
Once you do, you'll find yourself soaring to heights you never imagined- all because you began to believe in yourself.

From self worth to net worth

2010-08-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

Dr John Demartini, a favourite author of mine, has a great book called 'How to make one hell of a profit and still get to heaven', and one of his chapters is called 'From Self Worth to Net Worth'.

It's a really interesting chapter about how your self worth in life determines the value of your net worth, not the other way around.

If we are getting paid less than what we feel we are worth, we feel undervalued, and our self worth may go down. Why?

Because somewhere, deep down, we feel we are worth more.

We feel we can do more, be more, achieve more, are worth more, than this current situation tells us.

The subject of money is a touchy one for a lot of us, and our collective beliefs around money detract from us actually seeing its true purpose- to allow us to express our creative identity in the world. Money allows us to stretch and grow and shine. Money allows us to have choices, to help other people, to have total freedom in expression of our selves.

Our beliefs about our self worth directly impact on what types of jobs we go for or what we believe we are capable of.

To see how your mindset directly impacts the amount of money you are earning, ask yourself this question:

Do you see yourself as:

a) a person full of unlimited and untapped potential, who has great value and purpose to bring to the world?

or
b) a person who has average skills and experience, and can do a decent job and generally meet what is expected of them?

Now consciously, you might choose the latter, but subconsciously, you might believe the former. This is when you 'settle for' a job that doesnt reflect your true worth; it doesn't allow you to express your skills and capabilities.

What is work? We all know that the economy is what 'makes the world go round', so to speak.

But ultimately, your work is a reflection of your skills and abilities writ large. It is a channel in which you express who you are, and what you can do. It is a way for you to give back to the world by utilising your own personal strengths.

Of course, this may seem like 'pie in the sky' to most of us.
Do you measure your self worth by how much you earn, or what you are able to contribute and how valued you feel?

Think about your skills, abilities, experience and passions in order to elevate your self worth. What are you really good at? What do you love doing? Once you discover your natural latent ability, you'll be able to utilise this to allow yourself the net worth you deserve.

Turn your fear into love

2010-07-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

Love and Fear are the two polar opposites of any experience. If we fear something, we do not love it. Likewise, if we love something, it does not scare us. We embrace it.

Fear makes us run away, love makes us comfortable.

What are you fearful of? And how could you begin to love that situation now? Instead of thinking about all the reasons why you could fear that experience, begin to see it as something positive, something you can get something out of.

When we love, our barriers are down. We connect with others, we let go. When we fear, we have our barriers up. Our fears disconnect us from others.

Fear could be seen as an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real.

I'm sure you have experienced a time where you had a huge amount of fear about something, only to find it wasn't bad at all, and perhaps you actually enjoyed it?

Remember one thing- any fear exists only in your mind. You can refuse to let it have power over you, and know that it isnt real.

There is a part of you that exists without fear, that is safe, comfortable, and loving. You can access this part in meditation, hypnosis, or similar altered states of consciousness. When you relax, what happens? That's right, its impossible to get worked up or stressed because you are at peace inside, with yourself and with the world.

This state eradicates fear. Because of this, you can be certain that fear doesn't actually exist, its just a state of mind, a 'frequency', that you can easily tune yourself out of.

Begin to love those experiences that once made you fearful. Whether its going on a first date, seeing a spider, flying, making a speech...remember, the past doesn not equal the future.

There's been plenty of times when you used to feel one way about something and now you have a belief in the opposite.

For example 'I used to get really anxious on flights, but now I quite enjoy them'

Of course, the best way to get over your fear is to face it-again and again.

You'll never beat the feeling of knowing you transformed that fear into love.

It's time to appreciate the now

2010-06-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

For many people, they're looking at the absence of what they haven't got in their lives.

They haven't got the car, the boyfriend, the job, the friends, the body they want...the list could go on and on. They set themselves goals and targets and relentlessly pursue the things they desire.

But if you are constantly in that mindset of 'lack', that your life is somehow missing or lacking important elements, what happens?

That's right- you never end up happy because there's always something not right, something that needs fixing.

I admit to being one of those people- always looking to constantly improve myself in every way, to become the best I can be. Although it can be seen as a positive trait, it carries with it an unsatisfaction if you become too over-zealous in striving for perfection.

So today, I'd like to to focus on appreciation. Many other writers speak of gratitude- I prefer the word appreciation. To appreciate your surroundings, to appreciate the people in your life, to appreciate your money, to appreciate your health.

Yes, perhaps everything might not be 100% as you would like it- but if you didnt have any of those things at all, you'd soon miss them.

What are the other benefits of appreciation?

Well, as well as releasing some of the pressure off yourself and focusing on the now, you're also cultivating a more positive state towards what you want.

By appreciating something, but at the same time wanting to modify it slightly is quite a different mindset than downright hating something and wishing it were different.

So, for example:

'I appreciate my job, although it doesn't give me the creativity I would like I'm with lovely people, and have a good salary'.

Find things to enjoy about your current situation, about this present moment, now. You're not necessarily accepting that this is the way things are and will be, forever, you're just taking time to enjoy this moment of your life, now.

This time in your life you'll never have again.

You wont ever be in the same house, with the same people in your life, with the same circumstances, on the same salary forever.

Life changes- and so do you.

So whilst focusing on your life that you wish to unfold, look at the beauty you've already created.

Believe in your own potential

2010-06-09T01:29:00.000-07:00

There is one thing stopping you from achieving all you want to.

Your belief in yourself.

Self belief is the foundation to success in any endeavour. Without it, you give up, make excuses, let fear overtake you, and settle for something 'safe', rather than being all that you want to be.

I write a lot about the power of belief and how scientific research shows that belief can affect us physically- but what about emotionally and mentally?

By cultivating a firm belief in your own potential, you begin to expand the possibilities of what you are capable of.

Think Napolean. Think Gandhi. Think Martin Luther King. Think Christopher Columbus.

Do you think these people would have achieved what they achieved without a certain steady self belief?

The more you cultivate your own self belief, the more you will reach beyond your comfort zones and soar to new heights. Belief that you can and will achieve it. Believe that you are capable. Believe that you are worthy. Believe that you have within you the seeds of success.

I love the acorn/oak tree analogy. The acorn has within it the seeds to become a mighty oak tree, tall and strong.

Do you see yourself as an acorn, or a potential oak tree? Do you think about what you are, or what you could be?

Happiness lies in our unfolding potential. If we're not growing, we feel unhappy. We feel stuck,listless and unfulfilled.

Are you using your talents? Are you engaging your passions? Are you unfolding your potential and being the best you can be?

Or are there some seeds that are yet to sprout, waiting for you to believe in them?

How do you see yourself?

2010-04-28T03:01:00.000-07:00

What's your self image?

Are you a successful person, a stressed person, an optimistic person, an overweight person, a friendly person, a logical person?

Believe it or not, how we see ourselves, our self image, affects every single aspect of our lives.

Our self image, and self perception, is largely comprised of our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about what type of person we are. Other people can influence our self perception too.

What most people don't realise is that we unconsciously project our self perception. The beliefs we hold about ourselves are very powerful things. They influence our environment- how we act and react in any given situation.

For example, if in our minds eye our self image or self perception were that we were beautiful or good looking, this will invariably affect our interactions with the opposite sex.

If you perceive yourself to be an unlucky, or unsuccessful person, this again will have profound effects on how you act at work.

Your self image is not just how you see yourself physically- it involves your values, what you hold to be important in life. It also involves your attitudes, and beliefs- somewhere, unconsciously, you believe that perception to be truth- even if it has no external validation in reality.

Your self image is projected like a mirror- you unconsciously reflect it into your environment and others, strangely enough, seem to confirm your perceptions.

If you perceive yourself as successful, others will reflect your attitude and reinforce your perception by the way they react to you.

If you perceive yourself as unattractive and unworthy, those unconscious signals will affect others around you, and your experiences usually confirm those opinions of yourself. It then becomes a perpetuating cycle, until you decide to change it.

You can change your self perception.

You can begin to see yourself in your minds eye as clever,or beautiful, or successful. Your unconscious mind does not know the difference between a real or imagined picture, so the more times you visualise this the more your unconscious mind will begin to take it on as fact- and you will be able to feel and believe it.

You can choose what you will project through your self image- what will you decide to be?

Master your negative attitudes

2010-04-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

Do you know that the only thing you have 100% control over is your mind? That you have full responsibility for the thoughts you think, beliefs you hold, and attitudes you possess- even if you don't think it.

Of course, most of our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes appear to run on auto-pilot- we've adopted a certain attitude because of a set of circumstances, we think in a particular way due to our upbringing, we have deeply held beliefs that correspond to our values...most people are, if you might say, a product of their circumstances.

Their environment and experiences have shaped who they are today- how they view the world, their general mindset.

But what if there was another way? To take full responsbility of all the negative thoughts, the limiting beliefs, the pessimistic attitudes, and realise- you are in control of these and can change them.

Is it difficult? Sometimes. It's invariably easier to allow the winds of change and external circumstances to affect us, rather than mastering ourselves from the inside out.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven."
- John Milton

Most of the time we adopt knee jerk reactions to things, not realising that there is in fact always choice, in every moment.

By taking responsibility you invariably reclaim your power- you are recognising the fact that although this situation is not great, you can change it, or if not, you can most certainly change your perception about the experience, even if it's only reaching for a slightly better feeling than where you are now.

Of course, things happen to us that do make us upset, or angry or fearful. We wouldn't be human if it didn't. If you can though, in the deepest darkest moments of those experiences, recognise that you can make yourself feel slightly better by taking action in some way- you'll feel more empowered and in control.

Once you begin becoming conscious of your mind and emotions in this way, you'll find them much easier to manage, and you'll be able to easily lift yourself out of bad moods, negative thinking and feeling low. You'll find what works for you, and by mastering yourself in this way you'll feel more in control than ever before.

Opening your mind to possibility

2010-04-03T01:56:00.000-07:00

When we are attached to getting a particular thing, we usually have a set of expectations of how we are going to obtain that thing.

Whether its a relationship, a job, a house, a fitness goal, or something else, we are often so attached to how something is going to turn out we close our minds off to other possibilities, other ways of getting what we want.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

Say for example you want a particular job. You have a definite idea of salary, location, the types of people you want to work with, and what the role will consist of. You think you will find this job in these particular circumstances, and get disappointed when those avenues appear fruitless.

In actuality, there are infinite possibilities of getting what you want, but it may not be in the way you expected. A chance conversation on the train, a meeting with a friend of a friend, a set of circumstances that you couldn't have forseen- the path to getting what you want is there, but its not always clear.

When we begin to believe there are only certain ways of having or achieving the life we want, we effectively close our minds off to any other ways of getting it. We dismiss the extraordinary circumstances, the chance happenings, and the synchronistic coincidences that are leading us in the direction of our desires.

So why open your mind to possibility, and how do you do it?

Firstly, recognise the thing or circumstance that you want. Hold it firmly in mind, with as many details as you can.

Secondly, release your attachment to a particular outcome. This for most people is the hardest part- they are uncomfortable with embracing possibility because they like to be in control. Begin to think outside the box- look for opportunities to fulfil that desire in every situation, in every conversation, in every meeting.

Once you begin to be open to possibility, you are less fixed on how you will get there and more focused on getting there.

Joseph Campbell said "Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls"

You'll be surprised at how what you want can easily be achieved, it was that the possibility of achieving it that way was just not in your expectations.

Let go of how it will happen- look for the opportunities in every experience.

The only thing stopping you is you

2010-03-09T14:23:00.000-08:00

We often look at external reasons as to why we can't have/do/be something, rather than examining our own beliefs. Why is it that the thing we most often want we stop ourselves, unconsciously, from having?

Limitations, as I have discussed previously, exist only in the mind.

What stops us from doing something?

The belief that we can't, that it may be difficult to do so, that it may be hard to obtain, that we're not good enough, the list goes on...

You'll know if you are stopping yourself as you'll hear yourself say 'but' 'I can't' 'what if' 'I should'...

These are all perceptions about how the goal or situation you desire can be achieved by you.

Are they truths? Are they reality? Not at all. All they are is a possibility of what could happen. But they seem real enough to us, real enough to stop ourselves taking that chance, reaching out, stretching and growing in the attainment of our desires.

Reality is subjective. You experience your world through your beliefs, values, memories and attitudes. All of your experiences you have had in your lifetime so far has shaped the internal perceptions of your mind- who you believe you are, what you feel you can achieve, and what you know you deserve to have.

But the great thing is we can change these perceptions. Once we begin to realise that the only reason why we're not doing something is because we ourselves are stopping us through virtue of our own thoughts, then we can begin to push through the fear, and learn to live without limits.

If you think you can do it, you can...

2010-01-21T06:45:00.000-08:00

And if you think you can't?

Guess what.

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." ~ Henry Ford

Question: What is the number one thing that stops us from doing the things we want?
Answer: ourselves.

Our belief about whether we can achieve something is the prerequisite for actually achieving it. In fact, it is the starting point of all achievement, of all things we want to do.

So if you have a desire to do something, to have something, to be something, but you think that you can't, for whatever reason, that will influence the outcome.

Our beliefs shape our reality.

And belief that you can do anything, belief in your own ability, is the way to conquer fear, to conquer insecurity, to conquer the negative thoughts of 'I can't' 'What if' or 'I should'...

Think of some of the famous sporting achievements that have occurred throughout history. Most of these have been obtained by the belief that it is possible to achieve it.

Usain Bolt achieved a lightning fast time of 9.58 seconds for his 100m sprint. Many said it wouldnt be possible to be faster than the previous world record, but Bolt smashed it.
Why?
Because he thought he could.

If you think it is impossible to recover from an illness, it will probably be so. If you think you can't find a job, it will probably be tough. If you think you can't find someone who treats you right, guess what? Yes- your experiences will match your beliefs- because how you form your beliefs provides a platform for how you experience your life.

Isn't it amazing just how powerful beliefs are? And how stifling the limiting beliefs you have about yourself are?

It's easy to form new, empowering, positive beliefs about yourself. Tell yourself you can have/do/achieve it. See yourself in your mind doing it and succeeding. Form a conception of yourself of a person who can easily do or have the thing that you want.

Once you do that and begin being that person you want to be, you'll realise that the only person that ever held you back was yourself.

Cultivate limitless thinking

2009-12-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

"Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world"~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Can you remember how you used to think as a child? Your world was full of potential, you could be anything you wanted to be, you used to dream and envision doing and being great things in the world.

You saw life as an endless stream of possibilities, and used your imagination as much as your vision, living from day to day without fear of the future.

But then something happened. Gradually, little by little, you became socialised into patterns of thought- limitations that constrained those visions of who you were and who you might become.

"There's no money in that" people may have told you.
"Better to stick with a secure job"
"You have to be realistic"
"Don't run before you can walk"

The 'should's and 'can't's' eventually became your way of thinking. You settled for an average job, worked your way towards owning a house, finding a partner, earning a 'secure' living.

Your dreams gradually dwindled, until they became faint sparks, distant memories that appeared more fantasy than possible reality.

But what if someone asked you of those dreams?
'It's too late now'
'I'm not clever/talented/rich/experienced enough'
would be your response.

You decided, consciously or unconsciously, to settle for something that was within your own limits- the limits of what you believe is possible, for you.

I believe in cultivating limitless thinking- truly believing you can have, do or be whatever you want.

After all, limitations only exist in our minds. So called 'failures' were never perceived as that to those who became what they wanted to be, they just used it as feedback on how to adapt their behaviour.

So why settle for an average, or mediocre life?

Decide for 2010 that you owe it to yourself to live an extraordinary life- and inspire others to do so in the process.

Your habitual thoughts determine your results

2009-11-16T05:09:00.000-08:00

"A man is what he thinks about all day long." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently, I've been reading this fascinating book by Wallace D Wattles which details how using the power of thought can literally shape our lives into existence.

Since the global success of the movie 'The Secret', much has been made of visualising what you desire, and then forgetting about it completely and moving on.

Wattles believed that actually, the key to success lies in changing your habitual thought patterns- the automatic beliefs and expectations that run through your mind on a daily basis.

If we believe, for example, that we would like a new job, spend a period of time planning and visualising for a period of time, only to spend the other 90% of our time thinking thoughts such as 'I won't get the job' 'I'm not good enough' 'I'm stuck here' - then we will never attain what we want because our unconscious mind, our habitual thought process, is aligned to the opposite of the result that we want.

Our habitual thoughts could also be called unconscious beliefs. We all have an image or a perception of ourselves in terms of health, finances, relationships, family and other areas of our life.

These thought processes are like the software programs that run our life. Half of the time, we're not even consciously aware of the beliefs we hold about ourselves in relation to external circumstances.

However, we can change our habitual thought processes, and begin to formulate a new belief, a new mental self-image.

Why would we want to do this?

Well, by keeping in mind the image of the you that you would like to become, you begin to form a new mental pattern, new ways of thinking about yourself. To formulate a new, empowering belief about yourself is like installing a new software program- a blueprint for how you live your life.

For example, say you were a person who often got ill or sick. You thought of yourself as a sickly person, and when viruses went round you thought 'I'll get that next' , and you inevitably did. You thought more thoughts about illness rather than health, and this contributed to the results or outcomes you experienced.

What is neccessary to transform that person's experience? Firstly, it has to start with their habitual thought patterns- focusing on health and seeing themselves as a healthy person.

Time after time, those who have transformed their circumstances (gone from sick to well, poor to rich, lonely to loved) have constructed a mental picture of their outcome regardless of their current circumstances.

Are your results in line with what you want?

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside themselves was superior to circumstance." ~ Bruce Barton

What's your self talk?

2009-10-23T10:03:00.001-07:00

I was inspired to write this blog from the programme Dr Phil, of all things. I randomly switched on to find him talking to a mother who often shouted and berated her 8 year old daughter for being overweight.

The mother would often say that she loved the girl, but at the same time was frustrated and angry at the girl for putting weight on. Dr Phil gradually showed the mother that, although she didn't have to accept the girls weight as the ideal situation, that she should love, support and encourage her daughter rather than telling her off- because the daughter at 8 years old, didn't know any different.

It made me think about the similarities between this situation and our conscious and unconscious mind. Our unconscious mind is like the child, seeking to gain something (pleasure, comfort, relief from stress, confidence) but we often go the wrong way about it.

And our conscious mind is like the mother in that situation- the part of us that knows we could do better or should do something in a different way.

For example, say someone takes drugs or binge drinks socially to gain more confidence. They might know consciously that it's not what they want, the ideal situation, but the unconscious mind believes it is a quick fix to get the outcome we want.

So our conscious mind, the rational part of us, may act like the mother in that situation. We might get angry or frustrated with ourselves, believing that we 'could do better'.

But what would happen if we started to change our self-talk?

That instead of mentally beating yourself up because you've put on weight, or missed a deadline, or not achieved all you want to at work, that you start to change your approach- you start to motivate and encourage yourself through positive self-talk.

Which feels better, 'I'm not where I want to be'/ 'I don't have what I want to have'/'I couldn't do that'

or

'I can get there'
'I've done well so far'
'I'm happy with myself despite this'

Because if, just like the mother, you accept yourself as you currently are, without the relationship/career/finances/self confidence that you so badly want, whilst still moving towards it, then you undergo a mental transformation.

Moving from negative self talk to positive encouragement is the best thing you can do for yourself. Since 90% of what you do is ruled by your unconscious mind, don't you think it's best that you give it the right instructions?

Begin to see yourself as the 'mother' of your unconscious mind, and give yourself positive, loving affirmations.

Create an empowering vision

2009-10-07T01:46:00.000-07:00

vi·sion
Definition:

1. eyesight: the ability to see
2. mental picture: an image or concept in the imagination

Everything that has ever been created in the world has started with a single thought. A concept, an idea in someone's mind, before that person took action and made it into form.

Many people who have achieved great things in life speak of having a 'vision' - a mental picture that they have kept first and foremost in their mind, and constantly referred to it, even when the going was tough.

Without realising it, we all are 'envisioning' or having mental pictures in our mind all the time. Even if it's not some big goal or dream we're chasing after, we're still making mental pictures of our lives or envisioning how situations will turn out- all the time.

Whether you're visualising the perfect body, imagining yourself with new clothes, or picturing yourself in a place you'd like to visit, we all hold onto visions of some type or another.

Of course, these aren't always positive mental pictures we're making in our heads. Someone with body dysmorphia looks in the mirror and sees an overweight or fat person, when in truth they aren't. But why? Because they are holding onto a vision, or a mental picture of themselves.

If everything follows thought, if our world is shaped primarily by our visions and how we respond to them, then this gives us the power and choice to choose empowering visions. It seems to be the case that great achievements follow persistence of a vision. Time after time, those who have achieved great status, influence, and success in society- those who are both internally and externally satisfied- have all held onto a strong mental image:

“Microsoft was founded with a vision of a computer on every desk, and in every home. We've never wavered from that vision.” ~ Bill Gates

"Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision." ~ Muhammad Ali

"The power of imagination created the illusion that my vision went much farther than the naked eye could actually see." ~ Nelson Mandela

Your vision is like the blueprint for your life; holding onto a clear mental image of what you want and being persistent with that vision is the key to success.

Make your vision so big and bright in your mind- so exciting and compelling- that it motivates you, and makes you feel good.

A calm mind equals a clear mind

2009-09-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been so caught up in a situation that you were unable to think of anything else?

Stressed out, tied up, or weighed down with the details, you were unable to think clearly and felt that the situation was dominating your mind.

Many people struggle with life. It's as if they are fighting an internal battle of sorts, struggling with their job prospects, or their self esteem, or their relationships, or with their weight- whatever it is, it seems like an uphill battle.

But does it have to be that way?

Today, I was fortunate enough to have a moment by the sea (well, the Mersey river actually, which isn't quite the same)and spent several moments watching the gentle waves.

The calm, still waters made me feel peaceful- reflective, almost meditative. And it is in this state that we gain the most clarity.

When we get into a relaxed, receptive state of mind, all the cares, concerns, and worries of the day seem to fade away. We gain an expanded sense of perspective when we're in a deeply relaxed state, and are less attached to outcomes. This means we also release any negative emotions- all the stress and concerns that seemed so important to us suddenly become less so- we are able to gain clarity, or a clear mind.

Why is this state of clarity important? Well, because it gives us control. If we can maintain a peaceful presence of mind in our daily lives, then it gives us an enormous amount of flexibility and adaptability when it comes to dealing with experiences and situations.

'Being calm in the eye of the storm' is not only better for you mentally, it also has great health benefits. Being calm and centered means that rather than letting stress overtake and overwhelm you, you are able to gain better results in your life because you are in control.

How can we gain a clear mind and more clarity in our lives?
Well, thankfully there are now many tools to help you gain this beneficial state. My recommendation would be the biofeedback products from HeartMath. You can watch their video on stress below...

Your belief makes it so

2009-09-09T06:33:00.000-07:00

The famous entrepreneur Henry Ford once said 'Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right'.

What did he mean?

He meant that whatever your beliefs are,they usually determine your experience.

That means that when you're adopting a certain belief or perspective about a situation, you attribute your own meaning to it- and therefore you shape the way it turns out.

Consider this for example- two people enter into a relationship. One person believes that the relationship will not work out, the other believes the relationship will succeed. They each have a different belief, i.e. a different meaning, about what the relationship represents. How they act and react in that relationship will be in accordance with their own beliefs, not the actual reality.

How come?

Well, every situation and event we go through in life cannot have any meaning unless we attribute meaning to it by virtue of the beliefs we hold about that situation itself.

Events in themselves are meaningless- one person may believe it is a good thing they got made redundant, the other may be in total despair.

For example, if you text someone you like and they don't text you back, what is your response?

The experience itself is neutral- there are an infinite number of possibilities for the reason that person didn't get back to you, but according to your beliefs you may think:

'She/He doesn't like me'

'I guess they are busy'

'I'm worried; what if something is wrong?'

'I'm sure they're just deciding what to say'

The beliefs you hold, by the way, are usually a result of your own self perception in contrast with the experience. If you held an unconscious belief that you were not good enough, then you may automatically react negatively in this situation.

The real sense of power comes when we realise that not only are our beliefs shaping our experience, but that we have control over those beliefs- we can choose to change our perspective and adopt a different meaning to our experiences.

You are in control of what this situation means- are your beliefs serving you?

Allow yourself to blossom and flower

2009-09-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

"Our lives and our minds are like gardens. If we don’t plant flowers, we will forever be pulling out weeds." ~ John DeMartini

While I love this quote, I wish to also extend it further. We could say that our desires are like seeds within ourselves, and we can consciously choose to cultivate them, or we can let the 'weeds' (thoughts such as fear and worry) sabotage ourselves from growing and developing our true potential.

The great thing about humans is, like flowers, we are all unique. Sometimes we have similar desires, but each and every one of us grows in our own unique and beautiful way.

The way we unfold in life is usually determined by our circumstances- our background, our childhood, our society, and our dominant beliefs about life and ourselves.

But if our mind is like a garden and our background is full of 'weeds', sometimes it's difficult to plant 'seeds' because the negative influence of our past is suffocating our future.

We hold on to emotions such as anger, fear and sadness for weeks, months, and even years- these weeds are literally binding us from moving forwards- just like a weed can stifle the growth of a garden. We are caught up, tangled and bound by these weeds- and they are affecting our experience from moment to moment.

So how do we cultivate a garden of prosperity? How do we allow the seeds of our desires to blossom and flower- to let ourselves be who we really are?

The key is this: weeds can only grow if you allow them to.

We have a choice, in each and every moment, whether to continue to let those thoughts and feelings sabotage our future or whether we focus on the potential for growth.

By focusing on growth, we focus on the things that really matter. What are the things that make you come alive? That make you stretch and grow and shine?

By allowing ourselves to pay attention to those things we want to cultivate, rather than the things we want to get rid of, we find that those things automatically grow.

Focus your mind in the right direction and allow the seeds of your desires to blossom and flower.

Align yourself with the real you

2009-08-25T01:03:00.000-07:00

Most of us take it for granted that we have a conscious mind and an unconscious mind.

Our unconscious mind, which in fact is responsible for 90% of our behaviours and actions in the world, often goes unnoticed and unexamined whilst we preoccupy ourselves with what we seemingly consciously want.

But as we focus our mind towards happiness and the things we want, sometimes we act, do, or say things that are not in alignment with our unconscious mind- with who we really are.

Our unconscious mind is like the software program for our lives. It has imprinted upon it, all the memories, beliefs, values and attitudes from your moment of birth until the present day. It is the voice of your innermost needs, fears and desires, and it is constantly seeking growth, expansion and fulfilment.

So how do we know if we're not in alignment with our unconscious mind, and who we really are?

The answer: negative emotion.

If we feel anxiety, fear, worry, sadness or anger, we quite often are choosing to think thoughts that are quite different from the unconscious part of us- the real us.

What do I mean?

Well, for example if you felt feelings of frustration, apathy and anger in your present job, the likelihood is that you desire to do, to have, or to be somewhere better than you are right now. Your negative emotion is the result of your conscious experience not aligning with your unconscious desire.

The deepest unconscious desires we have are the ones that usually manifest in our lives quite unknowingly. For example, if you have a deep desire to be loved, you will either allow yourself to consciously seek it out and feel good about it, or you will hold fear about not attaining your desire, and thus hold yourself apart from it and feel bad about it.

Sometimes the greatest clues to our unconscious self, our true identity, lie in the face of negative emotion. If we have a strong negative reaction to something, chances are we deeply desire the opposite situation. So a person who has a very strong emotional response to being bankrupt would be because that person has a very strong unconscious desire to be financially free.

The greatest people that have walked this earth, the people whom most of humanity admire, are those people whose conscious and unconscious values and desires have walked hand in hand. Those that enabled their deepest held values, beliefs and desires to be expressed in who they are and what they do, without fear.

I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best:

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

Too much or not enough? It's a matter of perception

2009-08-10T04:40:00.000-07:00

You've heard the famous saying 'is the glass half empty or half full?' and you've probably heard that the answer is whatever you perceive it to be.

Rather than the answer denoting that you're an 'optimist' or a 'pessimist', the way you perceive things in your life can have a dramatic effect on how they turn out.

What do I mean?

Is your perception of things from the standpoint of abundance, or lack? Do you feel that there is an abundance of the thing you want, or that in fact you think it's so scarce that you're likely to never have it?

If you think about society in general, we are conditioned to believe that there's not enough- that the glass is half empty. Not enough jobs, not enough money, not enough medical resources- the list goes on.

Once this begins to filter into the only thing we have absolute control over- our minds, then this perception of lack can be carried through to other areas of our lives.

Maybe you feel there's a lack of decent partners out there, or lack of trustworthy friends, or lack of time, or lack of good opportunities- whatever it is, your perception will be causing you to expect scarcity in your experience.

Think about something that you've never thought about in that way. Maybe you've always found a partner to date, always had enough money, consider yourself lucky in the friendship department- whatever it is, think about that particular area of your life.

Now examine your perceptions- I'm guessing that for those things that just seem to come naturally and effortlessly to you, you always believed that they would or had no fear about it, it happened- money was just always there, friends just happened to appear, jobs always came up at the right time.

Interesting, isn't it? So if there's something you want- a relationship, a job, a new opportunity- maybe we just have to change our perception. The water in the glass is whatever you choose it to be- choose for there to be 'plenty' out there.

What does your heart desire?

2009-07-28T03:04:00.000-07:00

You may wonder why this blog post is about the heart, when I usually write about the mind, or consciousness.

However, the heart has a very important role to play in not only our physical well being, but our emotional and mental too.

Studies at HeartMath have shown that the heart broadcasts its own electromagnetic signal according to what you are currently feeling. This electromagnetic field can be measured several feet away from the body, and has been found to affect others in close proximity. You are literally 'broadcasting' how you feel at any given moment, much like a radio station.

In addition to this, the heart also has a complex communication with the brain- what most people don't know is that the heart has neurons and neuronal tissue- we can literally 'store memories' in our heart. Its also been found that the heart responds to events quicker than the brain itself.

But today I'd like to talk about the heart as an indictator of emotion. Many people talk of a choice being 'between head and heart'. I believe this choice could also be intepreted by the conflict between our conscious, and unconscious minds.

For example, our hearts desire ( our unconscious desire) could be to get a job that really brings a sense of meaning, purpose and fulfilment to our lives, but then our head, or our conscious mind steps in.

Our conscious mind usually attempts to sabotage our unconscious hearts desires by providing a list of reasons why you can't have what you want. The conscious mind provides obstacles that usually limit what our heart wants, and we end up feeling rather unfulfilled, life is good but there's just something missing- a deeper sense of purpose, growth and meaning to what we are doing.

Maybe your hearts desire is to learn to fly a plane, or teach english abroad, or become a policeman, or own your own business- whatever it is, that longing or heartfelt desire is something many of us suppress because we can't see how we can get there.

But maybe, instead of denying our heart, we should listen to it more carefully. Who do you want to be? What type of person would you most like to become? What really fills you with excitement and joy?

Our unconscious desires can then be rationalised by the conscious mind- which will then be able to figure out different ways for you to get what you want. Once you accept the possibility that your hearts desires are there for a reason, you'll be able to take control of them.

Start using the power of your unconscious mind

2009-07-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

What many people don't know is that our unconscious (or subconscious) mind does not know the difference between reality and an imagined picture. In fact, your unconscious mind only knows what is true through your own conscious thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

However, your unconscious mind is the one primarily responsible for your beliefs, your values, and your reactions to the world. Your unconscious mind is like a software program that runs your life. You react and act in various ways according to your unconscious beliefs about a certain situation.

So therefore what your unconscious mind believes to be true is very important. Our unconscious mind is like an automatic SatNav or GPS in a car- it guides us to where we want to be. It filters out our experience according to our beliefs and expectations about that situation.

Our conscious mind is like the driver. Our daily thoughts, emotions and beliefs are like programming this unconscious guidance system of the mind. If we have the belief 'I am not good enough' or 'I expect to not have much money', then sure enough your unconscious mind will guide you towards that experience, causing your limiting thoughts and fears to become a reality.

For years we have let our thoughts and emotions run on autopilot. We have struggled so hard to try to get outcomes the way we want them- our relationships, our career, our health, but we failed to realise that the result of our happiness in these areas lies in the potential of the unconscious mind.

Think about it. If you have a firm belief, say, that you are fit and healthy, or that you have lots of friends, or that you are good at interviews, doesn't your experience tend to mirror your internal beliefs?

Similarly, when we have an unconscious limitation about something- perhaps we believe there's lack in some way- be it a lack of jobs, lack of suitable partner, lack of finances- we invariably give this guidance to our unconscious mind- we are conditioning ourselves, our internal guidance system, to look out for, and expect lack.

So how do we turn this around? Well, we need to become consciously aware of our thoughts, beliefs and emotions. We need to give the unconscious mind clear directions on where to go. For example, if you want to lose weight, you must give your unconscious mind the thoughts, beliefs, and internal image of the ideal, slim you.

You wouldn't get in a car and program your SatNav to a place you don't want to go, so why do it with your unconscious mind? Begin to condition your mind for success in all areas of your life.

Try it now- you'll be surprised at the results.

It is your choice...always

2009-06-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

Do you struggle and wonder why life has dealt you a 'bad hand'?

Are you one of those types of people that go through extremes of emotions, feeling good one day, but miserable the next?

Do you believe you have no control about the way you react to people and situations?

Well...that's simply not true.

We are choosing, in each and every moment, how to respond to our experience. We choose, consciously or unconsciously, our reactions, our behaviours, our beliefs, our attitudes, and our values.

Have you ever heard someone say 'I couldn't help it, she made me feel this way' or ' the situation was just winding me up' or 'the way he talked to me really hurt me'?

They place responsibility for their unhappiness outside themselves.

But think about it. Do we not have a choice?

Most of us are reactionists to life- we let things depress us, anger us, frustrate us, sadden us, and disempower us. 'Its not our fault' - we protest, claiming that the external event is the cause of our misery.

What would happen if you began to be proactive with your mind?

What do I mean?

Well, in any event there isn't just one way to react. There are multiple, in fact infinite ways, to react to a particular situation.

Lets say you didn't get an outcome that you had hoped for. What's your reaction?

I'm guessing maybe disappointment, sadness, maybe fear, or anger. That's right, a negative response.

But how could you react?

Could you not choose to see the positive in the situation? 'Okay, I didn't get the job, but I'll persevere until I do. I know I'm good enough'. Or 'I could have been hurt by what she said, but I'll let it go because its only affecting me'.

By being proactive in your responses to life, you not only become consciously aware of how you are feeling, but more importantly, you're in control of you, not your emotions.

Remember, it is your choice...always.

The Power of Focus is all you need

2009-05-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've revisited a book I've had for a few years, The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield. It details the power of the focused mind in achieving goals- whether they be mental, emotional, physical or financial.

Whenever you want to achieve anything in life, a focused mind is all you need to get you there. If you focus on your goal 100%, it means that all of your thoughts and actions will be motivated towards, instead of away from what you want.

Goals can be 'toward' or 'away from'. If we say ' I want to be slim and toned', that is a 'towards'. You are focusing your mind towards an ideal, towards the person you'd like to become.

If you say ' I don't want to be fat', or 'I'd like to get rid of this excess weight', this is an 'away from' goal. We are wanting to move away from where we currently are at present.

Which one feels better in your opinion? Which one feels more motivating?

Let me give you another example. If we say ' I want to be financially free', or ' I want to buy a house', those are 'towards' statements.

'I want to get out of debt', or 'I don't just want to 'get by' - those are away from.

However, the 'away from' focus is problematic. Why?

Well, because you are still focusing on what you don't want. Whether you're focusing on fat, or debt, or ill health, you are not only creating subconscious pictures of the things you don't want, but you're feeling bad about your current situation which often stops you from having the energy to change it.

Think about it. Sometimes our 'away from's get so bad that we actually turn them into a 'towards'. 'I want to get out of this miserable job' becomes ' I want a job that energises and inspires me' - and we work towards that, never stopping until we get the outcome that pleases us.

Is there something you need to change your focus on?

Start now; because the power of focus is all you need.

Are you worth it?

2009-04-08T01:21:00.000-07:00

One huge issue when it comes to improving our lives is our sense of self worth. Believing we are worthy or good enough to have a certain experience enter our lives is actually the key to experiencing it.

What do I mean?

Well, we need to feel good about the outcome and believe we are worthy of having it. For example, if someone didn't feel worthy of great wealth then its likely that they will never attain it. If someone didn't feel worthy of a loving, intimate relationship its likely that the relationship will not work out.

In fact, you are likely to unconsciously sabotage your success if you don't feel that you deserve it. So believing you are worthy is crucial to the outcome of any goal that you would like to achieve.

The grander your ambitions in life, the greater your self worth has to be. Abraham Maslow, the noted psychologist, once asked his pupils who of them intends to become the next president or the next inspirational leader. They all laughed,squirmed, and felt embarassed. No one put their hands up. Maslow replied 'if not you, then who else?'

When you think about a big goal you would like to achieve, whether it is purchasing a material item, getting a promotion, finding true love - ask yourself 'Do I feel completely worthy of having this in my life?' Our unconscious beliefs can often deter us from achieving the outcome because deep down, we really don't believe we deserve it or are worthy of that happiness.

Decide right now that you won't put limits on your worthiness. Limits on your self worth only limit what you can experience. Start believing, today, that you have the right to experience nothing but the very best, in all areas of your life.

Release your attachments and be free to create

2009-03-05T05:24:00.000-08:00

We can all get attached to the outcome of one thing or another, especially when it's uncertain. I'm sure you know people who are so attached to something, they feel that if it doesn't turn out they way they want, they won't be happy. In fact, they place their whole source of happiness on having that thing work out correctly.

Sound familar?

Whether its a job, a relationship, a possession, a person- we often hold on so tightly to that one thing that we exclude the possibility of other options.

Think about the balloon in the picture. If the person still held on to that balloon, what happens? It means that they are less likely to be able to catch other things that come their way. And the same goes for our expectations for particular outcomes. It's great to have a positive expectation (like for example that you'll get the job you applied for), but if that attachment becomes all-consuming then you lose sight of the many other possibilities that might be right in front of you.

When we learn to let go of the things that might make us happy, even the really important things, paradoxically you begin to feel happier. Why? Well if you are attached to that particular job, person, or situation, control is out of your hands- you're depending on something else for your fulfilment.

There's a great quote relevant to this that I Tweeted on Twitter the other day:
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius (Roman emperor,AD 121-180)

There's also another reason to let go of attachments- they evolve over time. Nothing stays the same, and that outcome you want now will always change. Our desires are forever growing in the need for self-expression, and if your greatest attachment now is fulfilled, what then? Yep, you guessed it, there'll be another one there to replace it.

Once you let go of the need to be attached to how a particular event will turn out, you will feel in control of it all- and your happiness will depend on you.

What does your ideal life look like?

2009-02-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

When you think about the perfect life, what happens? I'm guessing you're making some kind of image in your mind.

You're probably visualising an abundance of wealth, loving relationships, a healthy body, a fulfilling and satisfying life, and all the confidence that you could possibly desire.

What would happen if you practised this thought, over and over again until it became something you naturally daydreamed about?

If your answer is 'probably nothing', think again.

Firstly, your unconscious mind does not know the difference between a real picture and an imagined picture. The brain fires the same electrical signals whether we are just thinking about something or actually doing it.

Secondly, your feelings are amplified during this process. I'm sure whilst thinking about that ideal situation you'd be feeling lots of appreciation and/or gratitude. The Institute of HeartMath has found through their research that positive emotions create a 'coherence' in the hearts rhythm, which leads to physiological synchrony and improved emotional well being.

Thirdly, consciousness research is demonstrating that a thought, or mental intention, may have the ability to alter our physical world at the subatomic level. Research into psychokinesis shows that conscious and unconscious intentions affect matter. The link between our emotions and these effects are also being demonstrated in psi research.

Fourthly, concentrated attention on a particular thing has been proven to alter the structure of our brains. Long term meditators, for example, have increased cortical thickness in the part of the brain usually associated with aging. Mental imagery research in sports performance has also found that those who visualised an activity performed better than those who didn't.

So even if your ideal life is a long way from where you are now, begin creating an 'ideal you' in your mind's eye, living that life. To help you do this, try visualising when you're listening to your favourite music or when you're in a particularky good mood.You'll soon begin to notice that because your focus is on the presence of these things, rather than the absence of them, your unconscious mind will automatically enable you to feel more positive in your current situation.

Turn your dissatisfaction into action

2009-01-10T06:42:00.000-08:00

Feelings are very important things. They are indicators of how we are acting and reacting in any given moment. But feelings also tell us something more- whether what we are doing is in harmony with who we are.

When you're dissatisfied within a situation- whether its a job, a relationship, a friendship or a habit, it's because it's not in alignment with who you truly are.

Consciously, we can feel good in those situations, but unconsciously, there's a nagging feeling that you could do better.

This is because as humans we are designed to seek happiness. Behind every desire or longing is the desire to feel good. So we change our clothes, our hair, our houses, our relationships, our body, in order to get to that feeling.

If you think about it, the reason you are dissatisfied is because the situation doesn't align with your values- what you believe to be important in life.

For example, if you were in a relationship where you felt unappreciated, you will begin to feel dissatisfaction because feeling appreciated and valued is really important to you.

Or if you had a strong sense of creativity and were in a job that was monotonous, arduous and required no creative thinking, then chances are you'll feel dissatisfied because that job is not you.

Lastly, if you valued personal growth, self development and self understanding and your friends didn't provide the opportunities you needed to grow in this area, then you may not feel completely satisfied because you could not talk about those things that are important to you.

So its a new year, 2009, and it'd be a good idea to really hone in on those things you want out of life- those things that are important to you.

What do you want physically for 2009?
What do you want emotionally for 2009?
What do you want in your career in 2009?
and go through as many categories as you can think of, writing down what's most important to you.

But remember, you have a choice. You can choose to carry on with those things that 'aren't quite right' or turn those desires into action for 2009.

Which one will it be?

Live a life you'll be truly satisfied with- in every way.

What's your focus?

2008-12-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

Can you focus on the sky and the ground at the same time?

No, you can't. When we begin to practise the power of our consciousness, the self development literature tells us that we must focus on our goal to the absolute exclusion of everything else.

Why?

Well many believe that this has a scientific basis. In quantum theory, it has been demonstrated that consciousness can collapse a waveform into a particle- into a specific outcome. I won't bore you with the details of the Schrodingers Cat experiment or the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle, except to say that subatomic particles can be in two different 'states' at once, and it is the apparent influence of our mind or our consciousness which can affect the outcome.

So why is this important?
Well, over many years, many successful people have used the power of focus to achieve their goals, dreams and ambitions. Self Development and Personal Growth literature is saturated with case studies- and every entrepreneur, leader or visionary used their mind in a way that they only focused on what they wanted to achieve- even if their reality told them the opposite.

When you're driving, do you focus on the crash barrier or safety barrier that is in the middle of the motorway? Of course not, you focus on where you are intending to go.

There is a saying 'what you resist persists'. Imagine if when you were driving, all you could do is focus on the crash barrier. What would probably happen? Thats right, you'd go straight into it!

Think about it. When we try and lose weight and all we're focused on is fat- it doesnt help us! In fact, it would probably demotivate us. When we want to accumulate great wealth but all we're focused on is how 'poor' we are- what happens? You never get there! When we want to find a loving partner but all we're focused on is how badly the opposite sex treat us, yep, you guessed it, you're heading for more of the same.

To achieve big, we need to focus our mind powerfully on the intended outcome. See, hear, and really feel what it will be like once you have gotten there. You can even think what you would say to yourself having achieved this important goal.

Your mind can be like a diffuse torch or a focused laser beam- and the difference you'll see will surprise you.

So whenever you're feeling negative, remember to ask yourself 'What's your focus'?

Its time to stop talking and start living

2008-11-11T03:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard someone talk of their plans, their dreams, their ambitions, but you never see any results?

You know the people I'm talking about, the people that maybe plan to have a new job, or want to find a new partner, or tell you about how much weight they are going to lose?

Trouble is, they don't actually do it.

Theres a big difference between taking action and talking about taking action.

I'm sure you've heard of the phrase 'actions speak louder than words'.

Well, its true. And you'll find the more you just talk about your ideas, without taking action on them, someone will beat you to it.

So dont just talk about applying for that job, or getting that new hairstyle, do it!

Because if we don't take action on where we want to head, we'll be talking about the same thing in 5 years time- not having progressed any further towards what we want.

One of my favourite verses was written in 1912 by Christian Larson, its called the Optimists Creed ( you can read the whole verse here) but a line relating to this topic is:

"To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds"

By far the best example of this is demonstrated in the picture below:

The 'Unknown Rebel', Tiananmen Square Beijing June 1985

I'm sure that person, whomever he was, decided to take action- right then and there- and that one action inspired millions the world over.

Your actions make you the person you are, they determine what life you will create and the paths you will follow. In fact, every experience is signified by your re-action to it- what you choose to do in each and every moment.

So just like Nike (who's name was taken from the Greek Goddess of victory), what are you waiting for?

Just do it!

Welcome to Whole Science

2008-11-04T01:51:00.001-08:00

Welcome to Whole Science (01:02)

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See this video and more at http://www.wholescience.net/categories/20080129_4

Follow Your Bliss

2008-10-11T05:12:00.000-07:00

Joseph Campbell, a philospher and a mystic, coined the phrase 'Follow Your Bliss'. But what does it mean?

And what does it mean to 'follow your bliss' in spite of all the odds, and difficulties that you may face?

Many people speak about having a sense of 'potential' or 'purpose'- something we feel we have to do in life, something that gives us immense pleasure and joy and we feel at our happiest when we're doing that or in that situation.

Whatever it is, if you're lucky enough to do it for a living you can guarantee it wont feel like work- it will be enjoyable, and leave you feeling energised and motivated.

You'll perhaps also notice that whatever it is, time will seem to stand still when you are in the midst of your activity. In fact, you probably won't be aware of time or how long you've been involved in your passion- the hours just fly by because you're enjoying yourself so much.

So 'follow your bliss' is a method for having a sense of direction, meaning and fulfilment to whatever we do in life. Its the sense of inner satisfaction that no material objects can match.

But what happens when its difficult to follow your bliss? When you come up against obstacles? If your health unexpectedly takes a turn for the worse, if your finances dry up, if your relationship breaks down, if barriers are put in your way, what then?

The key here is perseverance.

If you feel so strongly about something that you would be miserable if you weren't doing it, now realise that just because obstacles are in your path doesnt mean your bliss is out of reach. It just means you have to strive a little harder.

Thomas Edison, creator of the lightbulb, took over 10,000 attempts before he succeeded. Now that amount of perseverence shows true passion- and the belief that it was possible to get what he was striving for.

My late grandfather used to say 'Remember Percy- Percy Verence'. This has always stuck with me and I know that some of the most successful people in the world 'failed' many, many times before they achieved their success. J.K Rowling had her work rejected numerous times before someone took up 'Harry Potter'. And when Google first started, they suggested a merger with Yahoo who told them to go back to their 'school project'.

In the face of hardship, loss, struggle and rejection- these people made it, because they knew how important it was to 'follow their bliss'.

Do you?

Be the real you- today.

2008-09-17T04:43:00.001-07:00

Think about the ideal you- the you that you would be if you were truly happy.
The you that you would be if you got the finances, the career, the soulmate, the friends, that you really wanted.

How would that change your persona?

I'm sure you'd be really confident, right? Really happy, and comfortable in who you are and what you have achieved.

But why wait for all of those things to happen before you're happy?

Before you become the real you?

You see, it all starts with us, not the other way around.

To be that person, the confident, successful, happy person that you see as the 'ideal' you, you need to start acting as if you have already got what you want.

Why?

Well firstly, its because the unconscious mind does not know the difference between a real or an imagined picture.

You are giving your mind and body a signal, therefore, that you already are successful.

Try this on for size.

Tomorrow, just for 24 hours, I want you to put yourself in the physiology of the real you. And by that, I mean I want you to walk and talk as if you had got those things, if you were rich and successful and powerful.

I can guarantee that you'll notice a difference.

You'll notice that not only do people react differently to you, you will begin to feel better too.

Rather than waiting for some unforseen time or things that you feel will make you satisfied or content, decide to be there now.

Don't let external circumstances determine the way you feel- it takes power away from you.

So try it- be the real you- today.

Fear: The only thing that is stopping you

2008-08-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

When you think about being the person you want to be, what would happen if you had no fear about that?

No fear about what others may think of you?

No fear about going for your dreams, no matter how big?

No fear about becoming truly successful in every way?

FEAR is the main emotion that holds us back in life. Our fears can be mild or out of control; either way they are inhibiting. They shut us off- they close us down, and make us afraid to strive for more.

You know when you've been plagued by fear. The 'what if's' begin to creep into your head... 'what if I dont get the job?' 'what if she doesn't like me?' 'what if I can't do it?' ... and the list goes on.

What do those 'what if's?' get you? That's right, absolutely nothing, except probably more of the same- more of the limiting thoughts and mindsets that actually paralyse you, and stop you from moving forward in that experience.

In that situation though, you have a choice. You can decide to allow fear to take over your mind- or you can decide, right now, that you will refuse to become a slave to your fear.

And it can be fear about anything- even the smallest things.

From giving a presentation to managing your finances, to standing up for yourself in a situation, in each and every moment we have the opportunity to deny fear its place in our thought process.

Whole Science offers you a new scientific vision of the mind- that our thoughts can and do create our experience. With this new empowering knowledge, we must decide how best to think and feel about situations in order for them to turn out the way we want.

Fear is what makes people attack each other, that makes people close off from each other. Fear is hostile, afraid and scared. Fear cuts you off from connecting with the experience of just being yourself.

How important is it for you to refuse fear to control aspects of your life?

I think you know the answer.

You can learn to trust in the Power Of You

2008-07-28T02:22:00.000-07:00

We all want to trust.

We all want to have faith and belief in the positive expectation of a desired outcome. We try to 'believe we've got the job', or trust that 'someone special is around the corner'.

More often than not, though, this positive expectation is usually taken over with thoughts of 'what if I don't get it?' 'will it really happen for me?' ' Am I good enough to do it?'

You know the ones- those negative, limiting thoughts that echo through our minds and are usually a result of fear in some way.

These thoughts stop us from being who we really are. Without trust, without the positive expectation of what we want, we usually slip back into the safe, comfortable space where everything's 'just ok'.

What difference does trust make? Well, if you look at trust as a belief, as an expectation that something will happen, we usually start to see results.

Think of how much trust we put in our doctor when he tells us this pill is going to help us. There's been many thousands of studies that prove that trust, or belief, actually alters our physiological chemistry in some way.

But it goes way beyond that too. Since scientists began to study the qualities and aspects of our consciousness- studies in intention, telepathy, mind over matter and healing all produced notable results when the person is holding a specific intention - when they have the expectation to be healed, or to walk over coals, or to influence a living organism, whatever the case may be.

Our thoughts, our beliefs, our expectations, have much more power than we think they have. We could say they create our lives.

So what do I mean by trusting in the power of you?

I mean trusting in the power of your consciousness, the power of your mind as a whole.

It was only in the twentieth century that we discovered the unconscious mind; now we are starting to reap the benefits of using it through techniques such as hypnotherapy and dream analysis. Meditation as another altered state of consciousness can also open us up to new vistas of awareness of which we had previously been unaware.

So rather than placing your belief in some unseen thing, system or person, why not decide to trust in you- the you that has far more potential, far more power, than we ever thought possible.

We are not just our conscious minds. We are not just our bodies. We are not just our chemistry.

You are much more than you think you are - so why not try it out and begin to trust in your greatness.

Living Deeply: Cultivating greater awareness of the whole

2008-07-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading a fantastic book called Living Deeply: The Art and Science of Transformation in everyday life. You can find more about it here, but for now I'd like to share some of the book's insights.

So what does 'Living Deeply' mean? Well, its really about seeing life from a different perspective. Marilyn Schlitz, Cassandra Vieten and Tina Amorok embarked on a qualitative study of consciousness transformation, interviewing people from all walks of life.

What makes us see life from a different perspective? Transformation can come through trauma, through sacrifice or achievement, or merely connecting with one's own sense of purpose and passion. We can be transformed in a single instant; or our heightened perspective can flower slowly, as our awareness expands.

Essentially consciousness transformation means the expansion of consciousness - the awareness that we are part of a larger whole, and that our lives can be the platform to contribute to this greater whole in a meaningful and satisfying way.

We are beginning to take a 'meta perspective' on our own consciousness, no longer trapped in a false sense of identity but becoming aware that we have the power to change it. We are becoming conscious of our old ingrained habits, beliefs, and patterns of thought that have been holding us down for so long. In short, we are becoming self aware.

This is being propelled by the fact that we are increasingly beginning to see ourselves as part of one earth, one planet, and this sense of oneness or togetherness further helps us to reconnect us to what is truly important in life. Living Deeply, then, is living for the earth as well as ourselves- sharing and participating in a co-creative effort to make the world a better place.

And it isn't just the environmental effort.
All over the world, individuals are beginning to see beyond the facade of superfluous culture and image alone- they are beginning to look more deeply- not just at the world, but within themselves.

What would it take for you to live more deeply?

Wholeness: The Key to Life

2008-06-25T02:21:00.001-07:00

Do you wonder how all areas of your life fit together? How you can enable yourself to have great relationships, fantastic finances, perfect health and the most amazing career?

It would be brilliant if we had all of those, wouldn't it? But I'm guessing that more often than not, theres some area of your life that isn't the way you'd like it to be- you haven't got that sense of completeness, or 'wholeness'.

I created Whole Science with the intention for humanity to become more whole.

What does that mean? Well, essentially, like I mentioned, its having all areas of your life in harmony- everything is good.To be whole is to be content in all areas of your life.

Its not as impossible as you might think.

We're so used to being fragmented and disjointed that we believe its 'just the way life is'. We don't know whether to follow our heart or our head, or we might have a fantastic job but a miserable home life. We're out of sync- out of harmony with who we really are and what we want out of life.

This unbalance is displayed everywhere we look- from the starvation and obesity crises to the rise in crime, depression and pollution levels.Our basic quality of life- our inner contentment, is severely affected due to our search for 'quantity', or outer fulfilment.

So how do we return to wholeness? How do we find the key to a meaningful life?

The concept of Whole Science is essentially the principle of complementarity, or balance. In order to become healthy, or whole, we need to be balanced.

Do you have quality, as well as 'quantity' of life?
Do you listen to your heart, as well as your head?
Are you focused on inner, as well as outer fulfilment?
Do you think about others, as well as yourself?

You see, we can live a more balanced, or 'whole' life if we appreciate and recognise that to truly live life, these opposites fade away and merge into one.

Think about what it would mean for you to be truly happy.

Are you ready to step towards wholeness now?

Planet Earth

2008-06-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful video by Rhonda Byrne, creator of 'The Secret'. This piece to me really captures my motivation for why I created Whole Science.

Death and Life: A Unity of Opposites

2008-05-31T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, today is Saturday 31st May 2008. This topic is a little unusual for my first blog post, but I believe it may be useful to those out there experiencing similar situations. As I write, a member of my family is losing his battle against cancer. Caring for the dying opens your eyes to many things; not least of all grief and loss, but also hope and opportunity. Following Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the great pioneer who worked closely with the dying, I always try to put myself in the dying person's shoes- to think what it must be like for them. For facing death also means facing life- the missed opportunities, the regrets and sorrows as well as the joys, love and laughter.

We in the western world live as if death is always 'tomorrow'. And when our day finally comes, sometimes we live in denial, never wanting to think about what is going to happen. Others show a quiet acceptance; they have lived their life and are ready, they have a sense of completion. Author Judith Viorst of 'Neccessary Losses' states that the people who show the most anxiety about death are those who feel there is still more to do- more to share, more to give, more to learn.

Because when faced with mortality, whether it be someone elses or our own, it brings to us the meaning of life. When we know we only have limited time it becomes sacred. We drop all the negativity and resentments of the past and live just for this moment, now.

Many people who have had a Near-Death Experience (NDE) state their reverence for life after the event. It is as if, in the face of death, that we realise what life is all about. Sogyal Rinpoche, author of 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying', states that we should live with death in mind.
Not as a morbid, fearful thought, but as a guide for us to act more purposefully in the world.

I know, for instance that if my time were to come now I would be extremely annoyed because I feel I have so much more to do and to give. Understanding and appreciating death can make our lives full in every sense.

I'm no stranger to death. Since I was 18, several of my family members have passed on, including my cousin who was only six years old. Of course, these traumas can make us despair, but also it can make us appreciate our lives, and propel us to living them to the full.

Whole Science as a concept allows the individual to take the unity of opposites and recognise that we can hold a delicate balance in mind. In fact, it is essential for us to hold them as equally valid.
So by incorporating our own death into our lives, perhaps,we can reveal life's true meaning.